Camp – Poetic/Descriptive Text

I stared at the magical, hypnotising fire. The colours so vibrant and warm, I could do nothing but stare and remember.

I remembered the cool breeze on my face. The salt that stung my eyes and stuck to my hair. The waves tickled my legs. Tempting me. I launched myself on the board. I paddled. Faster and faster. The caught me and pushed me forward. I pushed myself upright. The wind picked up and whipped my hair. Arms out. Legs steady. I felt free. I felt wild.

I was in abseiling now. I felt like I could do anything. A blink. I was in the water. Snorkelling. I felt brave. Another blink. Another breathe. The sand firm beneath my feet. My eyes were on the pitcher. I was playing cricket. It was free time. I hit the ball. I ran. As I got the stumps. I gulped down air. As I regained my breathe. Another blink. I was in the water. Splashing everyone. Somebody laughed. Somebody shrieked in delight as a big wave. Shirt soaking. Face dripping. I felt happy. I felt…content.

I closed my eyes breathing in the salty air. I opened them. I was back where I started. Staring at the fire. The fire crackled, telling me my story in a blink of an eye. The last night. I closed my eyes knowing the adventure was nearly over. I accepted it. Embraced it. Accepted it but not forgotten.

Eyes open. The landscape rushing past a blur of colours. I stared through the window.

It was sad to go. It seemed like a second home at the time. But I had a family and another home. Who I desperately wanted to see.

I closed my eyes. Smiling sadly.

Accepted but not forgotten.

4 thoughts on “Camp – Poetic/Descriptive Text

  1. Indigo,
    I think this was my favourite piece I read this week- the dreamy way you wafted in and out of so many vivid memories gave me that lovely sensation you get when you are tiredly remembering things at the end of a long adventure. The way you mixed short and longer sentences helped to create that rhythm. I loved the way you incorporated so many senses and the used repetition of sounds, words, actions and concepts (these are called ‘motifs’ in writing) to emphasise aspects.
    Just beautiful!
    Ant

  2. Hi
    I really like this. It was really interesting to read and there was so much detail. It really relates to what happened. And I like the quote thingy at the end; accepted but not forgotten.
    Nice!
    Phoebe

  3. Hi Indigo,
    I love your camp response especially the vivid descriptions. I think you could work on using show not tell to let the reader know whats going on. I also liked how you covered lots of aspects of camp.

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